Sunday, July 31, 2011

Stress eater

I got my assignment yesterday morning. And then I wept at my keyboard. And then I found out that the university library is closed on weekends, so I couldn't even do the book research I needed to do in order to complete the assignments until Monday.

I was a little stressed. There was a double cheeseburger involved. No one was hurt except my pride.

I am feeling much better today. After finishing the second part of the final last night (basically a discussion of my practicum this spring, which I had to do from memory because of course it's on my work computer, which is unavailable on weekends like the library), and finding that plenty of periodicals have been scanned in online into full-text pdfs, I actually took a break and read for pleasure before bed.

I have to answer four out of seven questions (my choice) and give about three pages on them, using at least one book, two periodicals, and no more than two internet sources. The questions are along the lines of, "Discuss the history of the dichotomy of emotion vs. intellect, and why emotion has been seen as the lesser of the two, and how that has caused music education to be considered less-than necessary?"

Wow, biased much, teach? Too bad it seems that most people believe that the mutual exclusivity between intellect and emotion doesn't exist anymore. I decided to get the book Emotional Intelligence as my guide for that.

And so, it goes forward like that. I turned in my conducting analysis yesterday afternoon and spent some time with the Mahler First symphony, fourth movement. Thank goodness for the class message board and people who are keeping it up. I would be lost without them. I made sure they knew that. My theory professor is probably going to get a lot of laughs out of this analysis, but as long as I turn something in and obviously tried to grasp it, I'll get an A. The comp final is pass/fail...a little more of a daunting task, in my mind.

In other news, I gained all the weight back, except for one pound, that I lost, and I am so obviously bloated it's comical to me. I know I didn't actually gain four pounds of fat in two days, but I certainly gained it in water. I promptly took the scale and hid it in the back of the hallway closet, and vowed to not step on it until Saturday morning, after a full week of healthy eating, with no grains and no alcohol. After I finish this project, I will also be able to get my gym time in with some regularity, and will likely sweat out a few pounds at the school when I go up to put my rooms back in order!

This coming Saturday, however, is the Day of Debauchery and Gluttony. Some politician asked people to fast and pray for the future of our country, and there has been an obvious backlash. The hardcore atheist in me grabbed onto this, and immediately invited those in my friend list that I knew would appreciate it. My Catholic husband included! I plan on using that day (after a hard workout in the morning, of course) for a movie, unhealthy food, and maybe celebrating my awesomeness and finishing grad school. I must text my sister and see if she's up for the challenge.

So, dark clouds overhead, but some sun peeking through. I sure wish it would be cloudy for real. Last night, while reading, I realized how much I miss the rain. How much I miss walking outside and not having your breath taken away by the heat. The co-op put out their monthly newsletter and one farm was talking about their plans for fall plantings and I had a sudden urge to buy turnips, a vegetable I have never eaten but that surely reminds me of cooler weather. I'm making chili tomorrow, so I can kind of say "fuck you" to the sun and the heat. Fuck you, heat dome, I'm eating chili. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

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