Saturday, January 30, 2010

Home again, home again, jiggity-jig

FINALLY, I'm back on my own computer! This means I might actually post some pictures to this blog! Not that I'm all awesome with the photography (though I am learning a lot these days) but still, some visuals would certainly help :P

I can also sync my iPhone for the first time in forever. I still haven't been able to do the update where I can receive picture texts. I mean, my God. I just started texting a year ago, anyway, I should at least be able to do everything!

And typing on my own keyboard is so awesome. I missed the feel of it, I really did.

This week's veggie is brussels sprouts, in case I didn't mention it already. I'm just going to get a bird's eye steamers bag or something. I don't really feel like making a big deal of it. Everything's been so blah with this vegetable/fruit adventure. At least, tangelos, my most favorite citrus fruit ever, are back at the grocery! Woo hoo!!!!

Hang in there, Oklahoma. It'll be spring soon enough, and we'll be dodging tornadoes instead of ice. I can't wait.


It was all right. I roasted it with garlic, EVOO, salt and pepper. It's not a vegetable I'm going to asparagus or home-grown summer tomatoes...but it's a'ight. I served it alongside risotto and sauteed lemon shrimp...I wasn't too jazzed about anything in the meal. I burned my tongue on some hot chocolate the other night and I think I screwed up my tastebuds!

We haven't ventured out into the weather yet...we got about 5in of snow out there, on top of about an inch of sleet which is on top of about 1/2-3/4 inch of ice. Awesome. We'll see if I can get to work in the Fit on Monday.

Having the last couple of days off was nice, though...I didn't really think about work at all! I would like to get online and listen to some pep tunes but my DH just won't get off his computer and fix mine (I haven't had mine for over a month...which is a big part of why there are NO PICTURES on this blog...shame.) so I haven't been able to do that.

I guess I sounded pretty morose on my facebook updates and kept getting emails of concern from people. I appreciate the kindness, I really do. But, the past couple of days I've posted nothing but happy things and NO ONE RESPONDS. Funny how that works, eh? I thought about making that statement my status but then deemed it too passive aggressive, even for me!

The skinny on the bad mood: I was alerted, via school email by a teacher, that some of my juniors are wanting to quit band for their senior year. Kelli flips out. Gets confrontational with kids. Kids are upset aforementioned teacher emailed me in advance of the students coming to speak with me (I do believe them when they said they were going to talk to me). Entire situation festers for no reason. Kelli is upset that her kids are being hypocrites (long story on that one, but yeah). Kelli bugs an administrator probably too many times about it. Seeks advice from other teachers. Ignores advice and goes with gut feeling. Talks to students and is enlightened. Students listen to Kelli like mature young adults. Problem solved? Not really. But deeper understanding abounds. Kelli vows to ignore most teacher emails and promises to self and students not to fly off the handle anymore without knowing all the information.

Long story short...I can't make them stay, but I hate to see them go. I wish more parents would back me up and keep them in there; they have to sign the enrollment sheet, you know? There was no way my mom would have let me quit band, or piano. They were too valuable.

I'm debating if I should make biscuits or just have cereal or Eggos for breakfast. I'm not feeling to inclined to feed my DH anything today until my damn computer is fixed. It's 9am and he's still in bed.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Ice, Ice Baby

Dontcha just love Oklahoma? The friendly people, beautiful countryside, slow-paced lifestyle, the Thunder...the incredibly unpredictable weather...

So, I don't have work today or tomorrow. Neither does DH (courthouse canceled--woo hoo!). Yesterday I stocked up on liquor (so much for "drink less wine" haha) and tonight I have plans for Taco Night. It's not just's an event.

I do hope to get some stuff done around here--laundry, hanging stuff on my office walls, maybe get some more baseboards painted in the bedroom.

We're going to venture out to the nearby grocery to get a few food supplies (mainly sandwich stuff and canned soups), including avocados for guacamole!

I think all rules should be suspended until the ice storm is over. That is all.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A fish, a fish, a fishy-oooooooh.

What the hell was I thinking, anyway? Blech.

The steak was good--marinated it in my own homemade balsamic marinade. Made toast with butter, herbs, garlic, and feta. The veggies were blah...even the canned artichoke hearts.

Won't be making that again, at least not in the winter! Not even going to post the recipe.

My husband has challenged me to try a fish dish next week, because honestly, I just can't stand fish. Any suggestions? I do like salmon croquettes, but I have grilled salmon before and could only choke it down with a lot of ketchup. I know, I know...I'm worse than a 6 year old when it comes to fish. It's the smell...the smell literally makes me gag, except for canned salmon, probably because I grew up eating those croquettes (only seafood, besides popcorn shrimp, we ever ate!). It's like sewer+rotten+cat food to me when I smell fish. I know fresh fish isn't supposed to smell, except "like the sea" but it all has that smell. Including the sea. I've been there, and I've smelled it.

So, if you have any suggestions, suggest away.

Thank god for weekends

After some disappointing news at school, I have to say it's wonderful to come home for the weekend and have no real plans.

My only problem with the lack of plans is that without a schedule, I just never make it to the gym!

Yesterday, I hung out with my sis, watched 9 to 5 (Classic!), and then got a haircut...a much needed haircut and I must say that doing something nice for myself made me feel better. Feeling like I don't look like a fuzzy troll with bad split ends really helps!

This week's vegetable is broccolini. It's supposed to have "notes of both broccoli and asparagus." I'm going to roast it and serve it with some sauteed lemon shrimp. Doesn't sound too bad.

It's funny; when I tell people about this vegetable and fruit adventure they are so helpful with recipes. It's nice, actually. And no one has given me shit about it, saying it's stupid. It's nice to have a may not be an "important" goal, but it is to me.

I'm also trying my new recipe for the month...nothing exciting, but I found a recipe in a Pampered Chef book my sis gave me yesterday for "Mediterranean Steak Salad." It calls for flank steak but I already have tenderloin in the freezer. I'll post the recipe this evening after we eat. Hell, I may even post a picture! I will be picking the olives off mine, though...blech!


So, if any teachers are reading this, especially those that maybe aren't "core" teachers but instead teach classes or sports that require people to join and you build upon enrollment every do you not get disappointed when students suddenly say they want to quit? With no reason? How do you not take it personally? Is it some fatal flaw of mine that when my first chair flutist, a damn fine player, tells me that she wants to quit band because she doesn't like pep band, and because the students don't really seem to appreciate what a pep band is there for (seriously, at pep assemblies, the STUCO actually plays the stereo instead of having us play in between stuff....STUPID...the AD is all over that right now and giving them a ton of crap for not using us like they should) and because she wants to hang out with her friends at games. OR, when one of your most loyal students say they want to quit because they don't like the assistant...a totally bullshit reason. What do you do? What do you say?

I'm just disappointed and trying to figure out what I should say or do. I hate to just say, "Fine, go, we don't need you" because we DO. I need leaders. These kids are my LEADERS and they want to quit for bullshit reasons their senior year. It's such crap.

Blah. I've said that a lot recently. At least I got to switch yearbook companies and go with a rep that I can actually stand and work with for a change. Score 1 for me.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Step Right Up

So...I ventured out into the fog to the garage to get the scale, and the verdict is: Amazingly, I haven't gained any weight (give or take a pound) since the end of the summer, which is kind of cool since we moved into a new house, work became intensely stressful, I helped my sister deal with her own stressful time, the holidays, etc. Not bad. Not a great number, but it didn't ruin my day. The fact that I've gone this long and have just maintained and not gained is great. This time last year I was packing on the pounds and was eating/drinking pretty much the same. I blame anti-depressants!

So, now I have a starting point. 40lbs need to come off if I want to fit into all the clothes in my closet. I need to sit down and make a schedule, but currently I am typing this and shoveling cereal in my face so I can leave and go get the bi-weekly newspaper donuts (oh, cruel world...). But, hopefully I can sit down tonight and do that.

Still sore from Sunday, which is good and bad...I kicked my own ass enough that it hurt, but, well, it hurts! Especially across my chest. Damn flies. As in the kind you do with weights, not the cling-to-you-in-hot-nasty-weather flies!

Oh! I almost forgot...the bok choy. Hmm. Maybe I need to find some baby bok choy and try that. I wasn't a fan, though my husband was. But he likes pretty much everything except raw bell peppers...which I like :P

Okay, off to the daily grind, out into the fog...again.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The pummelo is a pummelNO

I tried the pummelo...ick. It was too much like grapefruit for my taste. Too bitter, and there was this weird, long-lasting aftertaste that just didn't jive with me.

I also re-tried parsnips tonight, roasted with a pot roast. I guess I'm just not a fan of them, either!

This week's veggie is bok choy. It is on the menu with asian-marinated steak (will grill) brown rice, and sesame green beans. I might just grill the bok choy, too. I think you can do that. I mean, people on the Food Network grill things like radicchio, so why not?

I also made it to the gym today. I did mostly weights. It is hard watching myself in the mirror, that's for damn sure. It seems like my home mirror has this magic ability to make me look thinner than I really am! And then I go to the gym and it's like a slap in the face. But, unhappiness with my reflection aside, I actually made it.

This workweek was just awful. I'm hoping to forget it soon! My husband doesn't understand why I carry my work worries with me to home. I'm trying to leave it behind, but this week was just a mess. So, Friday night, I drank. And drank....and drank. And shared some deep, dark secrets with my husband; I'm not like a transsexual or anything (not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm just not one) but some fears, worries, irrational thoughts that I often have. Like last Monday, when he had a mole biopsied. I can't stop thinking about what if, what if...guess I'm a little gun-shy after all the cancer with my dad. My husband basically said, if it's my time, it's my time, and, much like the pummelo, that just didn't jive with me. I would want to fight; I don't believe in God or an afterlife. I don't believe there is a "greater good." I believe in what we have here and now and I'm not done with it. And I'm not done with him. I'm sure everything will come out all right (we'll know after 9am tomorrow, at least, so not too much more waiting) but I can't shut my damn mind up.

So, that's the update for now. I'm considering morning workouts, just to get it out of the way...but, I would have to get up at around 5 and WOW. But, it would be possible. If I just didn't love my home so much I would have no problem leaving to go to the gym! But I get home and I'm so happy here it's difficult to drag my fat butt back out there. At the apartment, my gym was a block away (not even that far, really) and the place was always such a cramped mess that I had no problems leaving...that, and Kevin was in classes all the time so I was home alone and didn't feel compelled to stay. I just keep looking at the clothes in my closet trying to motivate myself!

Speaking of motivation, I might do the unthinkable...bring out the scale. Dear husband found out his weight last week at the doctor's (he hadn't weighed in a loooooong time) and was a bit shocked. Law school wasn't kind to his body. He felt a little more compelled to get the bike and get moving again...hasn't happened yet, but I know it will. Maybe I need the same kind of jolt.

All right, back to the interwebz and my Cosmo. I think next week's veggie will be brussels sprouts, if the store has them. I'll letcha know about the bok choy!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I saw a dead person

Or, rather, I saw someone who looked just like my father. For real. He was one of the clinicians Tuesday night at the honor band my student was in. From the back of the auditorium, I could see the resemblance, it was that striking. I went up and introduced myself (because that's what all good band directors do) and made small talk about the importance of exposing this generation of band students to music such as Holst's Suite in E-flat, but the entire time I was focused on his face and how uncanny the resemblance was.

His picture was on the website for the honor band, and I showed my husband. He immediately saw it. All he could say was "wow."

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't think about my father daily, or at least, where I don't think of him in an unhappy way. I wonder if I want that day to come. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of the hurt. It's been nearly three years since he passed and I still cry...I'm wiping my eyes typing this, actually. It's most certainly not something I discuss with anyone except my husband. I don't know if I really ever will.


Enough of the Debbie Downer shit. I bought the pummelo. Thing's half the size of a baseball. I figured one was enough to share between us. It's a kind of unnerving shade of green, too. Not dark green like a good lime. Kind of a light, lemon-lime kind of color that I hesitate to label "chartreuse." More to come on the adventures of the pummelo...pomelo...whatever.

You know what?

If you don't know for sure, you shouldn't ask.

I knew it was coming. My stupid fat belly has gotten large enough that a person actually asked if I was pregnant after hugging me. This isn't a person with whom I am particularly close (which is the case for the majority of the people on this planet!) but god, if I was going to have a kid, and you're in our "circle," you probably would have heard by now!!!


Anyway, this week's fruit or veggie is the pummelo, or pomelo, depending on where you're from. It's a HUGE citrus fruit and they are 2 for $5 at my local grocery. They must be in season since it's not something they carry often. So, I'll get two and my husband can have one, too. It's supposed to be like a sweet, mild grapefruit. I'm not the biggest fan of the bitterness I get with grapefruit, though I do love the smell. So, we'll see. I still have parsnips to get through, as well.

So, I guess I'll be spending some time at the gym today. I think I'm going to get on a treadmill, jack up the incline, and go to town. My trainer used to do that to me. I didn't do the best job I could this week, at all. I would like to think this coming week is going to be more "normal" schedule-wise, but it's not. Basketball Monday, a possible get-together Tuesday (I would like to go but I need the gym time and time at home) lessons Tuesday and Wednesday, and Thursday, and a prospective parent thing Thursday night. Bah. So, I'm going to have to try harder. Or go to the gym early, early in the morning. I'm hoping it will warm up a bit. It's been hard to motivate myself to do anything except stay warm these past few days.

I guess maybe I need to set some short-term weight loss goals or something. Like, I will drink xxx ounces of water or I will eat xxx servings of veggies this week or I will spend xxx hours at the gym. Bah. That's kind of all I can think this morning. Bah.

PMS doesn't help these matters at all. I friggin' hate pms. Maybe that's more of why I'm upset about the mistaken pregnancy thing. It has certainly added to the bloat given my penchant for salty foods this week of the month.


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Global Warming = Canadian weather in Oklahoma

Motivating oneself to go to the gym when it's a wind chill of -2 outside is almost an impossibility. Well, at least for me. Honestly, I don't know how you Yanks do it up north. Us southern gals are way more delicate in this frigid weather.

So, basically, that's a few sentences to say basically I suck at getting to the gym. This "arctic blast" has rendered me exhausted from trying to stay warm all the time! Couple that with wicked fatigue from pms (my husband calls it HFS: Hormonal Fatigue Syndrome) and I've been a lazy ass all week. Granted, a couple of days I was dealing with a band activity that took up my evenings, and last night the roads got icy. I could have gone after work, though...but the cold was just prohibitive to me. I'm hoping that Saturday will find me more refreshed and willing to get back into the gym swing of things. I know what I want to do, I just can't seem to get my body to where my mind is!

I managed to eat my parsnips last night. I mashed them with some potatoes. I'm not sure how I feel about them...they had a carroty quality to them that I didn't particularly care for much with the potatoes. I still ate them. I will roast some another night and see how I feel about them then. Perhaps in the future they will find themselves a starring role in a soup. This weekend I will pick a new veggie!

So far, I have managed to not let work get to me while at home. Though, I've only been teaching two days this week! Oversleeping by an hour yesterday morning didn't help me get back into the routine well, that's for sure!

I'm hoping to go to a girl's get-together next week with some online acquaintances. I would like to meet that "new friend" goal soon, if possible. I know it takes time!

So, basically that's the update for now. No gym time. Avoiding the cold when possible. Addicted to spicy foods for some reason (I blame the cold).

Stay warm, Oklahoma!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Back to school, back to school...

Well, I can cross #27 off my list of 30 goals! I finished the Wii Super Mario last night. It wasn't easy for me--I'm terrible with side-scrolling games and I've never beaten a Mario game. Not ever. So, that was kind of a big, albeit silly, thing for me to accomplish. Now I have to work on beating the "extra" World 9. Weekend pleasure, I guess.

I also purchased parsnips to make this week sometime. I haven't decided what to do. I know I have a lot of options! My husband suggested I make a list for the year, since I'm going to have to find 52 new fruits and veggies to try this year. I think he might be right. I'm going to be as seasonal as I can be.

I realized I left a goal off the list--read more. I'm currently reading "I'm So Happy For You." Look it up. It's kind of interesting.

Plans for the day: Dust my classroom (professional day and I've finished my grades), put together sub packet for another teacher since I have to miss my first day of spring semester classes, lunch, take a band kid to an honor band in a neighboring city, come back, go to the gym, eat reheated chili, read. I would go to a class at the gym but I don't think time-wise it would work. The only class I could take would be Pilates and I don't think I'm ready for that! Tomorrow night I'm going to aspire to go to the Have a Ball class. Whatever that is!

I'm trying very hard to be positive about this upcoming semester. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm not on anti-depressants anymore, but last semester was so hard for me. It just seemed like no matter how hard I tried, whatever I did was never good enough. And that I was constantly working either against the students, the administration, or myself. Plus, buying/fixing up a house was stressful, and the fixing up is an ongoing process. It was all very emotionally draining for me for some reason. Sometimes I just have to get through the year and remember that not every year is going to be stellar. It's kind of a pessimistic thought, but it seems to be true for me. I'm hoping that more physical activity and a better, healthier diet will help re-calibrate my chemistry and get me back to a happy place!

Do you ever have entire years that seem like you do nothing but fight? Is anyone even reading?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

2010 Plans

This is the year I turn 30. God. GAWD. I don't feel 30. I don't feel I look 30. I'm not sure I'm ready to be 30 but I don't exactly have a choice. The gray hairs filling in my temples are screaming at me reminding me of my far advanced age.

Of course I'm kidding. There are gray hairs. They don't scream. They are more sparkly than anything and I've decided that they make my hair look shiny. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

So, in honor of turning 30, I am going to set forth 30 goals, some big, and some small, so I don't become overwhelmed with trying to read 1,000 books and take grad classes this summer. I don't want to die a young woman.

Here they are. These might be altered as I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants (which reminds me, I haven't done this in awhile: I used to run around the apartment, when we lived there, backwards, yelling, "I'm flying by the seat of my pants!" and chase Kevin around. I need to do that again. I think it's hilarious. No one else seems to.)

1. Fly by the seat of my pants a little more often. In the aforementioned silly way, and more literally. I plan too much. I need to let go sometimes.

2. Workout 4-5 times a week.

3. Regularly attend a class at my gym. Any class.

4. Make a new friend. Try to make this person a non-work friend.

5. Have more than one girl's night at my house.

6. Continue my grad classes this summer. Try not to complain about said classes, even though they will most likely suck.

7. Be supportive of my students without letting myself be sucked into work in a way that doesn't allow me to be separate from my job. I put too much emphasis on my job.

8. Remember that while I am a teacher, that is not the only thing I am. My job does not need to define me.

9. Avoid sharing "war stories" with other teachers. It's negative and not helpful.

10. Attempt to remember the fonder parts of my father.

11. Call home more often.

12. Forgive my mother in law for being pushy about home improvement projects. I'm the closest thing she has to her own daughter, since her other daughter in law lives 14 hours away and she has three grown boys.

13. Go to book club. I haven't been Go to book club.

14. Host a book club!

15. Buy no more clothes at my current size or larger. Strive to either buy nothing OR to buy smaller sizes. Obviously this is more for the bottom than the top, since I am a bottom-heavy girl. Spend some money, instead, on home improvement, including outside plants and indoor decor.

16. Lose enough fat in my midsection (and overall, of course) so family members will stop eyeballing me.

17. Eat out less.

18. Go on a big shopping trip for my 30th birthday, buying the aforementioned smaller clothes. I want to shop at The Loft again.

19. Practice more.

20. Drink less wine.

21. See my sister more often.

22. See more movies.

23. Pay off all credit cards, get a debit card again and only spend money that way except for large purchases.

24. Put private lessons money into savings every month.

25. Start gardening properly. I tried and failed with both yards in the first few months we lived here.

26. Put in a vegetable garden...somewhere.

27. Beat Wii Super Mario (another achievable and reasonable goal!)

28. Try a new vegetable or fruit every week. (I've realized that coming up with 52 will be hard, so I will also prepare vegetables that I have eaten in new ways, such as roasted cauliflower, a vegetable I don't particularly care for raw)

29. Try a new recipe every month.

30. Take more photos of everything...currently most of the photos on my camera are of the cats. While they are great subjects, I need to branch out.

BONUS: Spend more time at the lake. It's right around the damned corner. I just have to actually go there. Seeing as it's currently 24°F outside, I will not go; however, winter doesn't last too long in Oklahoma!

Okay, so some of those are a little vague but, I'm trying to fly by the seat of my pants, remember? Eh?

Well, currently I haven't been to the gym since Wednesday. Thursday we tried to have a new year's eve party, and we were cleaning and I was in the kitchen prepping all the food...then hardly anyone came! That was kind of a financial waste. Good food, though. Friday I was kind of down in the dumps (okay, I was totally moping) and spent most of the day on the couch reading, watching TV and trying to beat the Wii Mario game. We spent the evening at the in-laws. We're waiting right now for them, and my brother and sister in law, to come by and see the house since the two of them live so far away. The house is kind of spotless right now so I can go to the gym any time. Just waiting and waiting.

I didn't have the best of lunches...the rice and leftover squash didn't really fill me up, so I had some chicken wings from the freezer. I baked them, at least. And they aren't full of crazy processed anything, so they really aren't too bad.

And, eventually I will post photos along with these blog entries, but my computer is still dead and I am currently hogging my husband's. I should stop that.