Tuesday, December 7, 2010

What's my motivation?

Or rather, where is my motivation? This cold weather has me retreating back to bed each morning. I have the mental desire to go out and run, but I feel like my body is pulling me back to the warm, cozy comfort of slumber. I have got to get back out there. I still have a few episodes of vertigo upon standing after sleeping, but mostly, it's gone. I still have that nagging shoulder issue but I hope to get a massage very soon now that I'm no longer on medication. I sure would like to have that knot out!!!

It's concert week for me, and therefore, a little stressful. Not too bad. Even if we're terrible, the world will keep revolving around the sun and I won't melt into a puddle of goo. We just have to get through it. I wish I had a more positive attitude but there are some issues that just aren't resolving (rushing tempos, slacking on articulations, flutes not getting their part right 50% of the time). I can't go practice for them. I feel like individual achievement for band students is no longer a priority because they are all spread so thin. Well, some. Many of my band kids are only involved in band...what the hell is their excuse? I have those that diligently practice and get everything right, though. I try to make sure they know that I appreciate their efforts. Sigh.

I don't have much else to say. Since I haven't been running there isn't much to talk about. Work is busy, I have to find time somehow to shop for holiday presents, and I'm not home nearly enough. Such is life, I suppose. Sometimes I feel like Charlotte from Sex and the City: "Sometimes I think how nice it would be to spend an afternoon glazing a bowl." A sad existence, yes. But I would like to know the ability to relax and not think about anything except the one task at hand. My brain is constantly going a mile a minute, thinking about all the little things I have to do at work and at home, and I can't make it stop. I can sleep, though! I can shut it off then, at least. I'd be screwed otherwise!

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