Monday, April 5, 2010

Weekends are the bain of my existence

Not a good weekend, food-wise, not at all. Great weekend, otherwise. I got a lot done, and I managed to hold myself back from planting any flowers until mid-April. It's a rule my mom instilled in my heart and mind as a youngster. I've always held to it.

I did buy potting soil, though.

So, yesterday, at my in-law's house, that thing happened to me that every overweight girl dreads. That one moment when you think your face is going to melt off because you're blushing from embarrassment while you go find more alcohol. That one question that can send a person who's enjoying her evening off into either a deep crying spell or an eating binge.

Yup, you guessed it. Someone asked me "When are you due?"

I'm about due to slap you across the face, you jackass. That's what's due.

The conversation went like this:

"When are you due?" (I heard, "What did you do?")

Upon inspection of nothing wrong, I said, "Huh?"

"When are you due?"

"I'm not??..."

"What?"

"Nothing..."

"Nothing?..."

"Yeah..." I go off to find more wine.

The man that asked me this was going to get a stern talking to by his wife, because she, according to herself, had fielded that question a couple of times--once after her daughter was born and then again years later. I haven't been asked that in years...

The kicker is, I was asked that 40lbs ago. I can't win. Shit.

So, out of pure selfishness and self-consciousness, I am not going to list my food. I sort of listed Saturday's already, anyway. I did manage to only have firsts at Easter dinner yesterday, seeing as the above question was asked right before I was going to go sit to eat.

I did manage, however, to not bury myself in brownies or other dessert offerings. Or more wine. I just went home and had a glass of water and called my mom to take my mind off it. H did a good job of making me laugh at the couple's expense, but I will save what he said for more private conversation. It was pretty damn funny, though. I appreciated his efforts.

Today I'm off to a local university for a media event for my newspaper kids. I will be armed with a notepad and writing utensil, a cheesestick and some peanuts and will opt for a salad for lunch. We'll see what the student union has to offer.

No comments:

Post a Comment